Perks of Being a Retired Athlete1. You're never sore. Sure, if you lift some weights, or sleep funny you may feel it the next day, but nothing can compare to being sore in places you didn't know existed after two-a-days. I don't have to think twice when I raise my arms to wash my hair or collapse when I sit on the toilet ever again.
2.You'll lost weight. All those days of telling yourself muscle weighs more than fat are actually proven to be true, and you can compare weight with non-athletes like normal without having to "round" your weight by 5-25 lbs.
4. Free time. Growing up playing a sport you, and all your non-athlete friends are pretty accustomed to never making solid plans. I can't really give much advice since I've yet to do anything productive with this time other than discover netflix, but I'll save that for later...
5. No more Ice Baths. I will never forget the first 30 seconds slowly submerging yourself down into the ice bath. Even the toughest athletes have met their match vs. these guys, and it's nice to know the only standing body's of water in my future are hot tubs, warm baths, or oceans. I'll also include no more ice packs here, which means no more leaking in your car, bed, or class.
6. No more punishments. Sure, my credit score my get a ding if I pay a bill late- but that does not compare to the sinking feeling of the unknown when your coach tells you to get on the line. For this same reason is why you can now finally celebrate Tequila Tuesdays, Wine Wednesdays, Thirsty Thursdays, Fireball Fridays, etc... without fear of repercussion.
7. You can date. With the amount of time you're either in the gym or out of town, you're basically a magnet for people who are emotionally unavailable or cheaters.
8. You can have a job. A definite double edge sword on this one, but sometimes it's nice to have an option to do something other than ask your parents to fund your Chipotle habit. And in the real world there are no "optional" meetings, practices, summer workouts you aren't paid for.
9. You can watch television. I feel like a whole new world has opened now that I can watch series of shows, netflix, live sporting events, etc... You can even watch the news and be able to pretend you are concerned about wordly-issues or who's running for President.
10. Unbreakable bonds. Although these people were your teammates by fate, over time these are the people who have proved to be there through the ups and the downs, spending nearly waking moment together. Whether it's because they've seen you at your worst, grew to appreciate their sense of humor, or simply don't judge how much food you eat in a single sitting, they are officially your people for the rest of your life.